Tips on helping your child resolve student/teacher conflicts

 Over the past 10 years as a school counselor I have had many, many students want to change classes because "Their teacher doesn't like them."   Many times there is an underlying issue as to why they really want to change.  I have found that not having friends in the class, a personality clash with the teacher, a highly structured classroom or difficulty with the subject are some of the reasons students do not like the class or teacher. 

I found a great article on schoolfamily.com that discusses this issue about students thinking their teacher dislikes them.  Below are some suggestions for students and parents to help deal with this issue.

Here are some other ideas for helping your child deal with a teacher he doesn’t like:

• The best way to begin a conversation with a teacher about a problem is with “What can I do?” This approach shows the teacher that you want to work with the teacher to help your child. 
• Shift responsibility to your child by helping your child find ways to approach her teacher without alienating himself/herself.  For example, your child could say “I’m having a hard time concentrating because it’s too noisy. What can I do?”
• Remind your child that he’ll have many teachers, coworkers, and bosses in his lifetime and that not all of them will fit with his learning style or personality. 
• Recognize that teacher-child clashes often represent differences in personality style. Children who need structure and predictability may not get along with a freeform teacher who goes with the flow. And the free-spirited child may react negatively to a teacher who sets firm boundaries and adheres to a list of strict rules. Try to convince your child she can learn from someone who has a different style.
• When your child says her teacher doesn’t like her, ask for specific examples. Then you can determine whether she is exaggerating the conflict or whether a problem really exists.
• Work with the chain of command: First talk to the teacher, then the principal, then the superintendent, and then your elected board member. 

When your child hates their teacher and is convinced the teacher hates them, it can make for a long, miserable year for everyone. By working with your child to try to resolve the issue, you show them you care about her feelings and are truly in their corner, even when they are at school—and you help them gain valuable interpersonal skills that will serve them for a lifetime.